Archive for Game Almighty
A-Holes, We All Have One
Fanboys + Game Almighty
04.30.2007 at 10:31 am
Game Almighty has up a great “How to be an Online A-hole” guide with 12 wonderful nuggets of advice.
Highlights include…
Tip #3: Ask Questions
Upon first entering a game, make sure you immediately ask pointless questions like, “Where is everyone from?” and “I’m 26, how old is everyone?” If someone says they’re over 30, immediately call them old and insist that they’re a loser because they still play videogames. Little touches like, “Oh, so you don’t like chicks anymore?” are also good. Bonus points can be earned for ridiculing where people live. Please use stereotypes when talking about people from the south. A sure way to be considered an a-hole is to insist that all people from southern states sound ignorant. Place special emphasis on mocking all the accents you hear.
Tip #5: Talk to Yourself
You know those voices in your head? Let them out for all the world to hear. Have a running monologue that makes little sense, yet is peppered with insults about specific players.
Tip #5A: Talk to Your Roommate
This is a great one that really messes with people. Have a conversation with your roommate about any topic you want. Other players who are forced to listen to you will ultimately think you’re talking to someone in game, yet they’ll never hear a response. The longer you have this conversation, the better. The more pointless you can make the topic, the faster people will consider you an a-hole.
Tip #11: Act as if You’re Playing The Worst Game Ever Designed
This one is often overlooked yet especially effective. Constantly ridicule the game you’re playing, insulting the level design, the weapons, the models, the lighting, the writing, etc. When players start asking you why in the hell you’re playing it and demand you go play something else, you can add a brown star to your a-hole chart.
Tip #12: Ready Up!
When waiting in the lobby for a multiplayer game to start, yell for people to press the Ready button. Tolerate no delay. Demand players be kicked by the host. As an added bonus, refuse to Ready up after you’ve successfully managed to get everyone prepared for battle, insisting that you won’t play with a bunch of losers.
It’s funny because it’s true.
+ nosedive51
